Leaving your Safe zone

Those of you who’ve been to college campuses on a regular basis have at one point or another come across a Safe Zone. These places can vary from offices, classrooms, conference rooms and even dormitories. They are designed to give individuals freedom of being judged and ridiculed based on their sex, race, orientation, etc., as well as give them an opportunity to express themselves.

Everyone should have a place where they can feel comfortable. Yet, we should also avoid getting too preoccupied with remaining in our comfort zones for too long. while the concept of the safe space is designed to shield people from hateful and judgemental people, it can also lead to a person becoming inept to accepting anyone’s differences of opinions or criticism from well-meaning individuals. In some cases, you become just as ignorant as the people you were retreating from in the first place.

You’re going to find this hard to believe, but we all have things that we are bias about. They can be as mundane as eating pizza with pineapple or major like people marrying outside their race. there is nothing wrong with harboring prejudice against certain ideas. The problem  is when we let our prejudices consume us to the point where it manifests into fear  and hate then you begin discriminating. This is what leads to incidents driven by racism, homophobia, sexism, and so on. Some people get so set in their way of thinking to where they can’t see the forest for the trees.

This is why it helps to leave your safe haven and venture out into unfamiliar territories. of course, it will be scary and you may not feel safe sometimes. eventually, it won’t be so rough and you may learn not just about other people, but you might get to know yourself a little better too.

 

 

 

 

 

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When Golden boys forget the Golden Rule!

 

Growing up in a Christian home, I was always taught to be respectful towards my elders and to be a decent human being. And the phrase “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is among the many quotes of scripture etched into my memory.   It’s a rule that we learn early in our youth. as we get older we learn how to be empathetic people. But some people just don’t take that message to heart. They just go through life going for themselves. Never thinking about how their actions to get what they want might affect other people, just as long as their wants and desires are met by any means necessary.

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Look no further than Brock Turner and his dad! This extraordinary athlete was a star student and was believed to be a prime example of an all around good guy. Until, according to his father, he got twenty minutes of action from an unconscious woman. Never mind that this woman might have been in need of serious medical attention. But because he was so fixated on having everything go his way, he proceeded to violate this defenseless woman until two good samaritans caught him in the act.

             Now his inner circle has all come to his defense. Perhaps, they are disillusioned by his heinous crime. Or maybe these people are just as narrow-minded as he is. Every excuse in the book to place the blame on anyone and anything but him. Lobbying for and receiving a lenient sentencing with little if any severity. All because he couldn’t handle prison.  Now it’s one thing for a judge to consider young Turner’s mindset. But, in this case, he’s sympathizing with the wrong person.

But why should this judge take anything about Brock Turner into consideration when he couldn’t do the same thing himself. He didn’t stop to think about what impact this would have on her, how it would affect her mindset.He didn’t think of the what ifs. If this was my mother, my sister, my girlfriend, my childhood friend. If this was me, would I want to be abused like that? No amount of liquor, testosterone or invincibility should have fogged his memory about something he should have known since kindergarten.

In my humble opinion, sexual conduct goes beyond “No means No”, it goes further into the realms of human morals. It goes into common sense, common courtesy. We have to teach the youth of the consequences of not respecting women.  And that situations like Brock Turner’s don’t reflect everyone. Most important, don’t expect symphathy when you don’t take time to show emphathy.

 

When you just can’t win!

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  Have you ever felt like you couldn’t succeed no matter how much of an effort you give? it’s almost like your main destiny in life is to just suck at everything you do. Even doing simple tasks and routines end in disaster. For example made tons of mistakes on the job. Now yourre hanging on by a thread and you know the boss is already interviewing replacement. Realizing you very livelihood in in jeopardy, you decide that you are going to turn things around once and for all.

 

Now you have to turn around in all that traffic and get it. By the time you get your wallet, you see that your ID is missing. this causes you to panic and you completely dismantle your whole house for it until you remember it’s in your other pants. At this point, you only have 5 minutes to get to work. Now you’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, using every cuss word you know.

When you finally do make it to work you notice that the parking lot is completely empty. “Where the fuck is everyone” you ask yourself. Then your boss walks out of the building and tells you that today is a pulic holiday and to go home. How messed up is that?

Well, that’s how I feel sometimes. Some mornings I just don’t don’t want to leave my bed. But then I think to myself, today won’t be as bad as yesterday. But then by day’s end, I regret waking up. but at least I can say I tried!

Knowing your audience!

life-s-a-stage-01-1473987-639x852If there’s one rule every person in comedy should know is who his audience is and what material he should and shouldn’t share in his act. Even the slightest slip of the tongue can land some well-meaning entertainers in some piping hot water. If you’re performing at a fundraiser for a women’s shelter, would you really think it’d be a good idea to make the same jokes you told at the frat mixer? I wouldn;t think so. But I don’t believe this notion should stop with just comedians and stage performers.

One of the beauties of social media is that we have more leverage to think about what we say before we put it out. You have time to analyze every tweet, comment, meme, etc before you hit that send button. This is a luxury that too many people foolishly take for granted. We can go back and delete it after the fact, but it only takes a split second for someone to copy and paste it into infinity. Best case scenario, it was just some mundane spelling error that only nit-picky grammar people will notice. Or it could be that selfie you took last night at the club after over indulging in margaritas.

Social media also comes with a few hassles as well. Many of us have friends and followers by the hundreds, maybe even in the thousands. They can vary from your best friends, your parents, that old lady down the street that loves you like a grandchild, the list goes on. They come from different ways of thinking and ways of living. Maybe most of them share your own views and opinions, but they may eventually change those perspectives over time. in a way, it’s like a stage where millions of people are potentially watching. And with this being an election year, the odds of you rubbing someone the wrong way just quadrupled. So while you may have gotten a group of 10 people to like that witty comment, 10 others just unfriended you. And among those 10 might be someone you really care about that you’ve offended.

You can never be too careful about what you choose to broadcast to the world. Even though I’ve always been against the principle of political correctness, I still find myself censoring myself quite a bit on my facebook. Certain words I know might offend some people are either abbreviated or blanked while some I just don’t use altogether. Not because I’m trying to be safe, but I’m trying to be respectful of those who may not be okay with such things. After all, your social media etiquette says just as much about your character as your page itself.

So whenever you’re about to tweet or post or whatever, just take a second to think. Is this post worth losing a special friend? if it’s intended for a specific person of group, PM it to them or customize it so only they see it. You spend 80% of your time on it anyway, so why not take the time to use them properly.

I ain’t selfish, I’m broke!

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You’re walking down the street minding your own business, when suddenly, you’re approached by a homeless man. He begs you to give him $5 for food. You have plenty of money in your pocket, but you still politely tell him no. Though he pleads with you mercifully, you still tell him no and continue to walk on by. it doesn’t end there tough. a few people just happen to witness the whole thing. and now you’re being verbally accosted by people you don’t know calling you greedy, selfish, corporate sellout, etc.

What these people don’t realize is that you yourself, work a low-wage job and is knee deep in student loan debt. You drive a beat up old car and you’re trying to save up for a new one. You live in a crummy studio apartment above a bowling alley and you live on spam and cheerios. So even though you have more luxuries and are better off than that begging vagrant, you’re pretty much in the same boat.

Sometimes, in order for you to survive, you just have to be selfish. Unless, of course, you can afford not to be. Let’s be real, you got two little children and a wife at home and you got this bum you have never seen before a day in your life. What are you going to do, feed them or him? How do you know he’s even a bum? It could be someone pulling a scam on you. meanwhile, you and your family are at home eating ramen noodles, while the con man’s eating Papadeaux’s out of house at home.

We all try to nice people and lend a helping hand. But there are times when you just have to put yourself first. Don’t let your friends and family or other people judge you because you can’t donate $20 to their kick starter page.

Reconnecting with an old friend!

As you go down life’s busy highway, you encounter a lot of people who you grow fond of. Some of them become your lifelong travel partners, while others leave you stranded on the side of the road. While some you just bypass in a circle over and over again. There’s been one particular friend I feel has always been right by me. It’s someone I can convey all my joys and sorrows to. That friend,is a pencil and a peice of paper.

Writing is one of the things I’ve always loved. Stories,poems, jokes, any form of expression I wanted to get out in the open was there. I used to cherish this God given talent. Writing any and every chance I got. Reading and sharing it with the people that matter most to me. 

Somewhere down the line, the passion all but ceased. Maybe I got too consumed in other work. Maybe I was so hung up on what negativity and criticism I’d face, I became insecure and doubted myself. Or maybe I was just uninspired. 

Old friend, I should have never forsaken you. I hope you can forgive me for thinking you were holding me back. In the end, I’ve only done it to myself. Now I can welcome you back. I’ve missed you!